A Budding Young Thespian

Hey Buddy,
I am so excited that you took part in the local children's theater production of Beauty and the Beast. You were AWESOME! You played the part of the Prince and you nailed it! As I sat in the audience I couldn't help but think, "Why didn't I know he could do that?" I felt like anyone else sitting in those chairs discovering you for the first time. I was blown away by your confidence and skill and I am looking forward to sitting in those chairs many more times in the future.

Here is to discovering yourself and letting me join you for the ride!

I love you,
Mom

Carpe Diem

Dear Son,
I have been reading through my previous letters to you tonight and I've found that I have had some good things to say. I asked myself, "does he know I think these things?" I realized that while I am writing these thoughts, I am not expressing them well verbally. It's funny that I can write so many things like this and yet forget to say them to you each day. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if you don't know that I think of you like this. I'm sorry if you aren't aware that I am seeing you as a budding individual. I'm sorry if I let too many moments pass by without sharing my deepest thoughts.

I will do better. I know that you blossom when I share my thoughts with you. I've seen you change completely from snotty pre-teen to mature son when you have been validated and cherished. Every human craves those moments, (even I) and I know how great they can make a person feel. I promise to take more opportunity to praise and teach so that you know how I feel.

I love you!
Mom

Your Mother, The Over-achiever

Hey man,
It's been a while since my last post. I have been very busy, as you well know. It's parade season and since I am the one in charge of our city's parade, I have been busier than usual.

This concerns me a great deal. I worry a lot about whether or not my pursuits out side of our home are worthy of the time I spend away. Granted, it's not like I travel great distances but there are days when I spend a lot of time on the computer/phone.

First, I want you to know I love what I do. All of it. The parade chair, the PTA president and most especially, mom. I am grateful that your father feels it is just as important for me to enrich myself as it is for me to raise you. He is very supportive of all that I undertake and I hope that from this example, you will be that kind of husband.

Second, I need you to know that I think of you and your siblings in everything I do. When I plan a meeting, I do so when it will be least likely noticed by you. I try to make sure that if I have a day of "work" I make concessions on other days to balance it out. I pray every night that God will help me to have the energy and strength to do all that I can for you and our family and also to serve my community.

Overall, I hope that when you look back on your childhood you will do so with fondness and not resentment. I hope that my example of involvement will lead you to be proactive and involved. Too many people sit on the side lines hoping someone else will take charge. Someone has to take charge. You can be one of those people. You will have had the instruction and example and will know by experience that you can do great things.

I love you beyond words and every time I write these letters I am reminded how we are both learning together. Thank you for being my "trial run" and teaching me so much.

All my love,
Mom

Hey bud,
Here's another thing I've noticed lately; you've turned into super big brother to your sister. (You still have some issues with your brothers though.) I have watched you as you have flown her "supergirl style" around the house complete with the cape made out of old red fabric that you duct tape to her shoulders. She thinks you are the most wonderful thing ever. You have created the "super bounce" with her and on several occasions I've seen you carry her around the yard wherever she points you to go. Most of all I want to say thank you. Thank you for taking such good care of her. She will always look up to you and I know that I can trust you to keep an eye out for her well being.

It is at these moments I tell myself that you will be a good husband and father some day. I am grateful that God sent her to us so that you could learn tenderness and kindness and that you are choosing to learn those lessons. Again, thank you for loving your sister.

I love you!

Today's Advice

Don't be afraid to try something difficult. You will always be amazed at what you can actually do and in the end it's always worth it.

Be good. Do good.

Born to Greatness

Dear Son,
Your father and I were talking tonight about the small fortune we have spent on you this year. There has been much done to correct some educational lagging and also to give you great experiences. I was wondering if we should curtail some of our cash outflow with the concern that you might grow to think you have an entitlement to things considered by some to be "extras". After a lengthy and animated discussion I realized a few things; first, you have no idea how much we spend on various activities in which you take part and second, I would spend all I have to give you every opportunity in life.

I am growing up as a parent. (I'll bet you thought I was all grown-up.) I am comprehending now that you are really growing up too. I see you for the first time as the individual you truly are. Until this time, you were a child who needed to be parented. Now I am excited to see that you have interests. Mature interests. I feel excitement that you truly will choose a path of your very own. It is with this new found emotion that I conscientiously commit to encourage you in everything worthwhile that you wish to undertake.
I have been unsure as to how grand I should make my support. I realize now that because your father and I can give you great opportunity, you have an even greater chance to become great. I don't mean being the President of the United States or an studio executive. I mean a good, kind man who influences all he meets. I hope and pray that through your young life I will be able to offer you opportunity that will give you a unique and deep perspective on the world. I pray that you will learn empathy and hope, kindness and faith and also a powerful humility. I am grateful to know that God sent you here to do something in this world and I am equally grateful to know that I can help you discover your path to that end. It is my sincerest wish that you grow to achieve the greatness within you.

All my love,
Mom

You Can Do Anything

Dear Son,
A thought crossed my mind as a topic for one of my letters. We were talking about something tonight and you made the comment that the task was "sissy". I thought that was an interesting word to use and really assumed that it was one you heard from friends as I don't use it nor does your father. It led me to further wonder what chain of events led to the use of that word in the setting you first heard it. I gather from this and other passing comments, that you care a great deal about how what you do and say will be perceived by those around you. I am this way too. (So are a great many people in the world.) I think this is probably one of the most widely experienced fears, the fear of not being liked.

Let me tell you a little secret I have recently learned after years of scanning memories and experiences I have had; people will like anything you do if you believe in it yourself. I know this sounds simple, and really it is, but it's hard to master.

Do you remember when you got that haircut you didn't like? Your biggest concern was that the next day your friends would laugh at you. You were afraid they would make fun of how you looked. (For the record, the haircut was fine but it wasn't what you asked for so it was hard for you to come to grips with.) As your mom I was delighted to have a great secret to impart that evening. Seriously, I was excited because I know this works, you just have to believe in it yourself. I told you that even if your friends thought your haircut was the ugliest thing on the planet, if you thought it was great then they would eventually too.

All great people (and I mean anyone who has stuck to their guns on something) know this secret. It's the same secret that will keep you safe when your friends may choose to drink. It's the same secret that will keep you honest when someone wants the answers to the test. It's the same secret that will let you smile when the shirt you may be wearing is the butt of the jokes of everyone around you. It's what will allow you to accomplish great tasks when everyone says you can't. You've got to believe in it, believe in yourself and nothing anyone says will ever stop you.

But beware, don't confuse believing in yourself with self esteem. (Self esteem is a silly notion that someone came up with to make it okay to think only about one's self.) Believing in yourself is the security of knowing that what you are doing is right and good and that you will keep trying to get it right. It's knowing that what you have to bring to the world can help others to be better too. Always believe in yourself! Even if it is hard and many would tell you you're wrong, believe in yourself! You can do great things when you are free from the constraints of self doubt.

I believe in you!

Love, Mom